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A Wife Comes Home...

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman.

"You disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"

He replied "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion,
I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on
weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw
them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans
that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they
are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary
present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found
the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just
to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive
boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair."

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for
my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to
me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please ... do you have anything
else that your wife doesn't use?"


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