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When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, "I don't know. I never had one."

If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use?

The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of sh.. that he can't fly.

The reason it's always so difficult for this president to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it's usually three different stories. - Sam Donaldson.

If the president could convince every woman in America that the Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he'd even have my vote. - Newt Gingrich.

What's wrong with extending my probe? The president did the same thing. - Kenneth Starr.

The special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony to the entire Grand Jury. - Monica Lewinsky.

The president should promise to spend the rest of his life trying to find the real person who had oral sex with the intern. - OJ Simpson.

If I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every bimbo who swore she didn't have sex with the president, I'd never get any of my own work done. - Vernon Jordan.

The president should take up skiing. - Al Gore.

If you're looking for me this week, I'll be in the bunker. - Saddam Hussein.

Practicing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making sure the door is locked. - George Stephanopoulos.

There's a new Bill Clinton computer coming out soon, it will have a six inch hard drive, but no memory.


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