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Want to live to be 80?

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?"

"Oh no", I replied, "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks with baked potatoes or barbequed ribs with French fries and cole slaw?"

I said, "No! Red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf or out fishing?" he asked.

"No I don't," I said. "It can cause skin cancer."

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with sexy women?"

"No," I said, "I've never done any of those things."

He closed my chart, looked at me and said, "Then why in hell do you want to live to be 80?"

-- Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.


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