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HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on
and
point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over her or his caffeine addiction, switch to
espresso.
6) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL
FAVORS."
7) Finish all your sentences with "...in accordance with the
prophecy."
8) Dont use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their
party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, I WON!
WON! I WON! Third time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
19) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we
are
going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
20) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent
it to you or have asked you not to
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