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How It Happened

And God populated the earth with
broccoli and cauliflower and
spinach, green and yellow
vegetables of all kinds,
so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's.

And McDonald's brought forth the
99-cent double-cheeseburger.

And Satan said to Man,
"You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Supersize them."
And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt,
that woman might keep her figure that
man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate.
And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream.
And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart
healthy vegetables and olive oil with
which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried
steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his
bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth
running shoes and Man
resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV
with remote control so Man would
not have to toil to change channels
between ESPN and ESPN2.

And Man gained pounds.

And God said,
"You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato,
a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy center into chips
and deep-fat fried them.

And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control
and ate the potato chips
swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created
quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMO's.


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