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GOD grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked
anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight
to
tell the difference.
Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've
discovered:
ONE- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO- My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE- I finally got my head together; now my body is falling
apart.
FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
FIVE- All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
SIX- If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT- Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
TEN- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
ELEVEN- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
TWELVE- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been
anywhere.
THIRTEEN- The only time the world beats a path to your door is
when
you're in the bathroom.
FOURTEEN- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put
them on
my knees.
FIFTEEN- When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does
everyone
decide to play chess?
SIXTEEN- It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
SEVENTEEN- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.
EIGHTEEN- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what
I'm
hereafter.
NINETEEN- I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU
BEFORE OR
NOT!
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