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Management Lesson
Lesson Number One
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"
The crow answered"Sure, why not." So, the rabbit
sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Management LessonTo be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
*****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't
got
the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of
my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed
with
nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough
strength to
reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after
eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly
perched
at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly
spotted by
a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management LessonBullshit might get you to
the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts
wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I
control the whole body's responses and
functions."
The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry
the brain about and get him to where he wants to
go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because
we do all the work and earn all the money.
And so it went on and on with the heart, the
lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole
spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole
being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike,
blocked
itself up and refused to work. Within a short time
the eyes
became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet
twitched,
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole
should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All
the other
parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed
out the shit!
Management LessonYou don't need brains to be
a Boss - any asshole will do.
Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the
ground in a large field. While it was lying there,
a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the
frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it
began
to realize how warm it
was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat
heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him
out and ate him!
Management Lessons
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your
enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth
shut!
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