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Subject:: Secrets for a lasting marriage

My wife and I have all the secrets for making a marriage last:

1.Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,
some good food and
companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Her's is in Florida and mine is in
Cincinnati.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a
long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread
maker. Then she said, "There
are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an
electric chair.

7. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost
weight, but BOY, can she
climb a tree now.

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said, "No,
jump in!"

10. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.

14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"... I
said dust.

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