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PINOCCHIO

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily
through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RED RIDING HOOD

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic
basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said,
"No, you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MICKEY MOUSE

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge
said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SNOW WHITE

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him,
knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face screaming,
"Lie to me!  Lie to me!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh.. ...by the way, did you know Captain Hook died from jock  itch.

___________________________________________________

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