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The top 8 idiots in the country.
Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
into the Emergency room right away.
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on
a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It
out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed
Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days
received a letter from the police that contained another picture,
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
didn't believe him.
At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his
gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the
in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then
the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
Idiot # 7 Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was
of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Idiot # 8 Ann Arbor:
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
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